Ownership & Living With Dichotomies

March 20, 2015 Paradigm 0 Comments

The World is full of dichotomies.

Automatic watches that need to be wound. What?

Soft pretzels that turn hard. Why must you torment us!?

Physically matured adults with the mental maturity of a Grade Schooler. Honestly? Yes, you do need to eat your vegetables if you don’t want to have heart problems by the time you are 45.

We deal with them all the time in our daily lives.

But what about the one’s within ourselves?

Yes, you do want to eat the cookies…everyday. But at the same time, you want to not only stay healthy but get healthier!

Most of people in the world can’t live with the gas prices, but also can’t live without gas.

And, wow. Wouldn’t all of us want to be able to actually get work done while we are sleeping sometimes!

These are the majority of dichotomies that I deal with as a Life Coach, on a regular basis. Everyone has them, and the solutions to them are actually not that hard to parse out.

Once I assist the client in understanding that both options are desired by the same person for the same purpose – the client’s happiness or security, in one way or another – most dichotomies resolve themselves within a few sessions.

So which ones are the sticky & tricky ones?

Well, first let me provide the solution – in broad terms – to see if you can’t come up with the answer without me.

The solution to the trickiest problems – the one’s I actually specialize in – is:


In modern parlance that word has a lot of preconceived notions behind it, so let me break down exactly what I mean.

Ownership is not “being a man about it” or “standing tall” – though those are automatic derivatives that come from practicing the real meaning, and obviously my female clients are still women at the end of my Dichotomatic Resolution sessions.

And it’s especially NOT “owning up” to some (oft times) imaginary fault inside you or I.

Ownership, in basic terminology, is “being at peace with a fact”.

Do you wonder & worry over the ownership of your pencil or pen? Do you agonize over the possession of your most prized jewelry or accessories? Do you struggle with the constant dichotomy of using your left hand vs. your right hand?!

Of course not.

Then why should you with anything else? Let alone something that is close to your heart.

The reality is, you shouldn’t.

You shouldn’t fear any part of yourself, nor the reaction others may have to it. That fear won’t make it any better, nor will it resolve any possible future conflict as a result.

You should think of all things you possess as fully owned & subsidized by you. No different than the lunch you ate yesterday.

It is a part of you, and you can no more take it back (or give it away) than you can send your hand back in time & snatch the bacon from your own mouth!

Be at peace with the fact that there is a part of you. It’s there and you wouldn’t want it to go away even if it could.

What you want is the contention to go away. And the reality is that most of the conflict is in your own mind.

24 hours a day, five-hundred-twenty-five-thousand-six-hundred minutes a year, you are NOT under attack. People are very much not likely throwing their bagels & coffee at you during the morning commute. They are also very not likely to be all trying to run you down with their planes, trains, and automobiles – and I swear that helicopter above is probably looking at someone else.

You are at war with what you think is around you. What “might happen”.

And once you realize & accept that most people probably do not know, let alone care about whatever dichotomy exists in your mind, you can then snatch inner-peace (with that non-issue) right out of the air.

You can own it. Truly & wholly – and most importantly, with positivity.

You & that part of you are great. Separately for sure, and as a whole who knows what you can accomplish.

Will there be obstacles along the way?

You know the answer to that one too.

So all I will say is:

Through Ownership, you will gain Peace. Through Peace, Ownership.

And with Both, you will surpass any obstacle.