Maintaining Your Connections

March 20, 2015 Paradigm 0 Comments

Connections, relationships with the people around us, are some of our greatest privileges…and also, if we let them, they can become our greatest worries.

Worrying is like a rocking-chair though. It’s fun to ride, but you never get anywhere.

So, I will be providing a small series on some guidelines which can help you maintain your own personal connections, possibly even help improve them!

Here’s the 1st Rule:

Accept & Remind Yourself that the “Connection” you have between you & another person is NOT a representation of that person or yourself. It’s quality is in direct proportion to the amount of time you spend building it multiplied by how/what materials you use to build it.

One of humanity’s biggest collective issues is mislabeling. We see one thing, make a judgment (appropriate or not), and everything attached is thus labeled, by association – no matter if there is a vast difference between the one thing & that nearby. Even ourselves!

Well, my son & I don’t really see eye-to-eye. That must mean something is wrong with either one or both of us.

You know this happened to me last year on my birthday over at that place. And therefore I won’t go back, cause bad things happen there for me.

That person I just met. Wow what a great connection! I bet she puts her left sock on first, just like me! Obviously left sock people are awesome by default.

I hope I got a few chuckles out of that last one, at least. However, honestly, that’s sometimes (more often than we’d like to admit) how our mental connections are established & reinforced, regardless of the massive jump in logic it takes to make any of these statements (which have no correlation to each other) fit together.

So, although it may be fun, my advice is to stop yourself right before you build or destroy a Connection, new or old, with flights of fancy – whether positive or negative.

It’s shoddy maintenance. Akin to saying aloud, “Wow. I’m so absolutely sure that this hammer will be great for washing the windows!”

Not a good idea…unless your aiming to tear down a building – and even then you might want to just take a screw-driver an uninstall the window frame unless you want a rather dangerous mess readily available to stab you in the soft underside of your feet.

The same holds true in you Life Connections. Use the appropriate tools and you’ll get the best results:

Well, my son & I don’t really see eye-to-eye. I don’t know when the last time I was perfectly honest with my son about who I am, and who knows if I remember the last time I actually asked him to do the same with me. We both need to take the time to actually learn about who we really are as men & family.

You know this happened to me last year on my birthday over at that place. But the reality is that it wasn’t that buildings fault. It’s a building! And the people who put on my party were great there. I actually really enjoyed seeing my friends & having fun… Maybe it was just that one thing that person did that set me off. I really should patch things up with them, and I never even sent out those thank you cards!

That person I just met. Wow what a great connection! We seem very alike, and I like that. I just met her, and I want to make a good impression…and you know what, I bet she does to. We really don’t even know each other – and although I’m sure she puts her left sock on first, and that she’s awesome for doing so! – I know it’s best that I don’t base our entire relationship on this first meeting. I’m going to make sure to right down a note to properly: set up a time for us to meet & see what kind of value we can bring to each other. Even just as casual contacts for now… I do really want a cool left-sock friend though! Hey, how about that guy over there, he seems like a lefty!

And there you have it. Nothing complex or contrived. Just a bit of control mixed with a solid aim:

Maintaining a (Positive) Connection.

See you next time with…Dun, Dun Dunnn…

Rule #2.