Maintaining Your Connections : Part III

March 20, 2015 Paradigm 0 Comments

Connections, relationships with the people around us, are some of our greatest privileges…and also, if we let them, they can become our greatest worries.

Worrying is like a rocking-chair, though. It’s fun to ride, but you never get anywhere.

So, here’s the 3rd Rule to keep Worry as the Common Cold rather than the Plague:

There is No Right “Connection” or Wrong one, there is only a “Healthy Connection” & an “Unhealthy Connection”; both regarding input & output.

Most importantly, you are the one who decides which is which – because you are one side of any “Connection” you have.

To maintain a great connection, you need to be authentic. You need to have the courage to not only be true to yourself but allow others to be true to who they are. Be willing to let go of who you think you should be, so that you can be who you really are, and in turn support others in doing the same.

This is fudamentally difficult for most adults, because as children we are taught (and believe) that there is a pure right & wrong in every situation. More importantly – because as mature logical adults we can understand & encourage that ideal – we are also taught as children to find that specific right or wrong in a situation first, before making any other decisions.

We are told things, generally, like:

“Stop and think about what you are doing. Then go forward with what you think is right.”

In a greater context which isn’t always passed down effectively, this ideology is a short & concise version of what we wish the world to be – just like children are (generally) short & concise versions of what we once were.

And that’s were the context comes in. What do children who “know what is right & wrong” do with that knowledge?

They act just as they were shown: They go out and tell each other what that is, and often without any of the context in which it was learned.

In essence we are taught not only to look at our moral compass, which has been preemptively filled-out for us, but to always look at it & then show it to others so that they too know what is right & wrong.

The latter, we experienced & matured people, realize is just not practical in every situation.

Yet, it is still a prevalent – even expected – part of a person’s greater societal experience.

So, what does this all boil down to?

If we wish society to act as children, we should continue doing the things we did as children. No matter how complex adult interactions get, a great many can be boiled down to exactly what the great majority of us learned as children.

Einstein, arguably the most famous genius of the past Century, said this:

“The problems of today cannot be solved using the same level of thinking used to create them.”

This is more true than we give the great man credit for.

Particularly, I suggest that this can be applied to our “Connections” as laid out here.

Different thinking, different actions, different results.

How you get that “different thinking” though is up to you. So experiment.

Have fun.

Be authentic, encourage others to do the same, & enjoy it all.

After all, it’s not like you have anything better to do than live, right?